Is there someone in your life that you like right now? Or maybe you’ve just started a new relationship and you’re worrying about how to tell them about your chronic illness or other medical condition. Well don’t worry because I’ve got you as I will break it down for you on how, when and where to tell that special someone about your chronic illness in this 3 part series.
So this is part 1 of 3 blogs I am doing which will help guide you through on how to tell someone that you like or are currently dating about your chronic illness if you haven’t already. Just a little note here that everything I will go onto explain in this video is relatable to if you want to tell people about your condition.
Ok I’m not going to sugar coat it for you but opening up about your illness or other condition is scary and has its pros and cons.
So, the ways you can do this is face to face, over the phone call or over text and this will all depend on how comfortable you are in doing this. I’ll go into these in a moment but before you tell them it is worth deciding beforehand what you want them to know. You don’t have to share everything and depending on what you share will depend on how new your friendship or relationship is with that person and how comfortable you are in sharing. If it’s a new relationship then take it slow and keep things simple.
Ok so face to face conversations. Personally, I’d prefer to do this face to face as you can see their reaction and body language when you tell them. It allows you to have a real time conversation where you can also express in your facial expressions and body language what it means to you as well. Most likely they will be able to pick up that this is difficult for you to talk about and will hopefully be respectful and listen to what you have to say. It also gives them an opportunity to ask you questions.
Second option is you can call them over the phone or go one better and face time. Not only will you be able to hear their reaction and if you’re face timing see their reaction it’s almost the same as doing it face to face and so all the points, I’ve previous mentioned still apply.
Third option is over text. Some may find this the best option because it can avoid any feelings of embarrassment and plus it’s so much easier to just type something and hit send when you find it difficult to say the words.
I’ve sort of ranked those hows into first second and third best based on my opinion. But everyone is different and there is no right or wrong way to do it as for example sending a text about your illness can lead to a phone call which can then turn into a face time or video call which can then lead to you both setting a date to meet in person. The way you can approach the subject of talking about your condition is by saying or even texting the person something like “Is it Ok if I can talk to you about something?” The usually response will be they will say yes and you can literally just start the conversation with “I have something called crohn’s disease etc” and what you will find is the conversation will naturally take care of itself.
Remember you don’t have to share everything about your condition so decide what parts you want to share for now and make sure you highlight the good things that have come from your illness like new friends you’ve made or volunteer work you do to raise awareness. Also be clear in the conversation that you’re the one living with the condition if they try and put their own opinions on what you should be doing and gently remind them you know your own body best. It’s also an idea to let them know that they can be part of your support system. By talking about your condition to them you’re showing them that you trust them and are opening up to them which some people find endearing.
Now I’d just like to point out that whichever way you decide to tell someone about your illness regardless of they react you should be proud that you found the courage to attempt to talk about. Whether you are disclosing your condition to your boss, friend, partner or someone you like you will worry about how they will react. It’s normal. You’ll understand more of how they take it when you tell them just by the way they act around you and the general vibe you get from them. When at work co-workers will start taking an interest and may have a ‘light bulb’ moment when you tell them as to why you do certain things or spend so much time in the loo.
In friendships friends will stay friends and in romantic relationships it can go 1 of 2 ways. One the person can be totally fine and things stay the same. Two the person either slowly fades from your life or just ends things there and then. Don’t worry if that happens and I know it hurts but that’s not the type of energy or person you need in your life or to be in a relationship with.
There you have it. So now you know how to tell someone about your IBD but what about actually going on a date or even just meeting up with that person? Well make sure you check out this video where I will take you through just that: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRdQSKzNdec&feature=youtu.be
Hope that helps and look forward to you reading parts 2 and 3 soon!